I Love My McDonald's
Today I was reading through the archive of a very old Slovak newspaper from 1914. It was called Slovenské Noviny and was published in Budapest! – few people today realize that more Slovaks lived in Budapest at that time than in the German-speaking Pressburg (Bratislava).
The newspaper carried the report of how Gavrilo Princip fired a bullet that hit the (future) Empress, who died instantly. Franz Ferdinand was hit by other bullets, and as he was dying, he repeatedly cried out to her in grief, begging her not to die. Shortly after, he died too. Tragic.
When the crowd saw the assassin, they began to beat him relentlessly (surprisingly, the crowd consisted mainly of Serbs and Croats! – who were supposed to hate the Emperor, but the reality was quite different). In some photos, you can see Gavrilo’s bruises; he surely got a beating from his own countrymen before being locked up in prison (where he later died of bone tuberculosis). Yet at school, we were taught how hated the Austro-Hungarian monarchy was, how it was a “prison of nations,” and how eagerly we wanted to escape it. Of course, there were those who did, but they were a minority (much like today).
And that’s when I realized that the citizens of the Austrian Empire actually loved their ruling class – whether it was the Emperor, the Empress, their children, or their heirs – and they loved them far more than we love “our” democratically elected politicians today.
And why was that?
The Emperor (since he owned absolutely everything) had no need to enrich himself the way today’s politicians do. Besides, when you own something, you have an inherent motivation to nurture and improve it, not to steal as much from it as possible… The Emperor was perceived by his subjects as a symbol of morality and natural authority. From his public behavior, it’s evident that he truly cared for his subjects and did everything he could to ensure they lived well; his country was his calling card to the other monarchs of the world.
But these are only marginal reasons; the most crucial role in the adoration of the Emperor was played by state propaganda. Every state has it; without propaganda, no state would survive for long, whether it is a monarchy, a republic, or a principate.
Today, just like back then, the state brainwashes us from early childhood to value our country, our coat of arms, our flag. We learn to sing the national anthem, to buy domestic products, to love our president, and to serve our politicians. Later, we learn how vital it is to pay taxes. People rarely stop to think about this and simply accept it as an absolute truth… When singing the national anthem, we hold our hands over our hearts, which subconsciously expresses that when it comes to national sentiment, we don’t use our brains; we merely vent the emotions we were conditioned to feel. This is exactly how cults operate. And when someone insults our state, we react defensively.
We see the national coat of arms in school, on the wall right next to the president’s photograph, and then everywhere else. Teachers, parents, and the media constantly repeat how much we should love our homeland. Of course they repeat it – the school belongs to the state, the teacher is paid by the state, the curriculum is designed by bureaucrats paid by the state, and they were all brainwashed in their childhood just like us. When you hear this from an early age, you cannot form a rational opinion about it (just like anything else we were raised to believe).
Now imagine that instead of the state coat of arms, a McDonald’s logo was hanging on the wall, and instead of the president’s portrait, there was a picture of its CEO. Children from infancy would hear how important McDonald’s is to them, and in the morning, they would greet each other with “I’m lovin’ it.” On McDonald’s TV, a friendly voice would explain that a fulfilling life is impossible without a Happy Meal. During sports tournaments, everyone would cheer for their McDonald’s team, and when a McDonald’s employee won against KFC or Burger King, we would be deeply moved, followed by fireworks and wild celebrations.
For all this beauty, McDonald’s would take 66% of our paycheck and convince us that it’s for our own good. After all, who would flip the burgers without McDonald’s? (Who would build the roads if there was no state?).
How do you think it would turn out? Personally, I think it would end up exactly the same as today.
